It amazes me that in a city of millions everyone seems so alone. Maybe that's why I am sitting here alone in a café on 82nd. I've always wanted to live here. I've always wanted to get away from the life I had back home, well at least parts of it. What's funny is that when you get away the first question you ask yourself is, "what was I running from?" Not a single person in this café has someone to sit with. They are either on the phone or on a lap top, desperately trying to not make eye contact with the person across the room from them. If one of them actually looked at me, I would look back. It seems like the only person who has any idea of what life is, is the homeless man on 68th street. I was walking down there the other day making my usual trip to acting class. Growing up I never really had many homeless people to deal with. I did what any New Yorker would do, stare straight ahead and pray to God he didn't ask me anything. I wasn't really expecting what happened next. He took a good look at me and shouted, "don't look so perturbed sister!" Instinctively I smiled back at him. "There ya go, with a smile like that you belong in Hollywood." This made me realize some things, one: I should smile more, and two: we are all taking our days for granted. After these past few weeks I have been looking everywhere for God. God to help me, guide me, send me a sign or an angel to tell me I am doing something right. He didn't know it, but that day he was my angel. Maybe angels are not really how they are presented to us. Maybe the world isn't full of Tesses like in 'Touched By An Angel'. The reality of it may be that God doesn't send down glowing figures with Irish accents to tell Billy God loves them. Maybe we can be the angels. Unknowingly we are placed at the right time to be someone's angel. Lets face it, this world isn't as nice as it should be, but we could make it better for one another. I prayed for the man on 68th street. Whether or not he got himself into that situation didn't matter. I just wanted God to help him...
The next day I ran into him again. We exchanged hellos and I continued to carry my two heavy bags onto class. I remembered I had two heavy 1 liter bottles of water in my bag. Something made me turn around, I gave him the bottle of water. He looked surprised that I actually turned around to come give it to him. I looked at him, said God Bless You, and left. Sometimes you are the answer to your own prayers. My bag was lighter, so was my spirit. Someday you may be someone's angel and not even know it. One thing is for sure, now when I walk down the street...I smile more.
